the moment they knew.

love is the one bewildering, intensely sought after, marvelous, complex, and euphoric word in human vocabulary.

in the words of Taylor Swift,

"you can hear it in the silence,

you can feel it on the way home.

you can see it with the lights out.

you're in love, true love.

& you understand now why they lost their minds & fought the wars

and why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words."

I'm not particularly well-versed in the universe of love, so I'm sure you're wondering why I'm wasting my breath.

That's why I asked several people to tell me the moment they knew. The defining moment where something struck them and the realization bubbled up into one quivering, life altering realization: I love you.

THE TEENS

Can you really fall in love in high school? That's the message that's plastered on every suffocating HBO teen drama, anyway. Teen relationships, in all of their glory and gore, certainly leave a scar or five hundred, but does that make them any less real? At what age does love transfer from shimmering infatuation to The Real Thing?

I asked some teenagers I know who are in relationships of all different stages & situations about the moment they knew they were in love. The responses melted my cynical and honestly wary heart:

"it was almost 3am and we hadn’t been able to stop talking all night. i had smoothly transitioned into a sleepy, hazy version of myself and had begun rambling about a very important snow globe that i had almost broken earlier. he let me talk about it for ages. i can’t even remember exactly how he responded, but i remember feeling like my body was drenched in honey. i suddenly felt very awake. i knew then it was love. it was in every fiber of my soul.​"

I asked the exact same question to that individual's partner, and they said:

"We had just seen a movie and we went out to our cars and I remember she had on this bright pink sweater and it just made her glow.

I remember her smile really really specifically.

I was making dumb jokes and she just smiled and laughed like I was some grand comedian.

It was rainy but we were both shining and it all just clicked for me. It was perfect. It was love."

If those responses alone don't melt your bones, I regret to inform you that you're heartless. But they weren't the only teen couple I wanted to include in this experiment of sorts. Here are some other responses from teens when asked the question :

When was the moment you knew you loved him/her?

"I was having health issues at the time and in the hospital. I was completely woozy from all the drugs and and laughing and he was laughing with me and goes, "God, I love you, this is so great." And in that moment I realized I loved him more than I ever thought I could love someone. Even though I don't remember most of that time, I remember that moment clear as day & I think I always will."

"After meeting her family, I was driving home by myself thinking about her, and I started to pray and thank God for her. I started to bawl."

"I don't think there was one moment for me. One day I just realized I was fully aware of all of his faults and imperfections and yet I was just as crazy about him."

"During the winter, I remember we were sitting at the base of a tree huddled together. It was freezing but we wanted to be outside. I remember feeling so much love for him that it hurt to keep it in. It was like a big fire in me that was about to burst. I wanted so badly to say "I love you". A couple days later I did, and it felt like freedom."

"We were hanging out and sharing very personal stories, and she shared one about her sexual assault and how she felt she could never be loved or valued again. In that moment, my heart filled with love and joy and I knew she was someone who was very special and that's when I realized I loved her and wanted to be with her as long as I can be."

"A distinct memory I have is when we were sitting in the car talking about college and our future plans and our hopes and dreams. In my imaginary future, she was there in every scenario. I couldn't even imagine not being with her nor could I think of anything that could tear us apart. I was certain that I wanted to marry her."

"The moment I knew I loved him was when we were watching a movie and he started to gently rub his fingers across the self-harm scars on my wrist. I felt embarrassed and pulled the sleeves back down. He stopped me and whispered "don't be ashamed, everyone has a past and these scars prove you're in the better place now and I'm proud of you."

There was one moment in my own life where I knew, and where my world shifted for just a moment.

I was walking back to my dorm on a Wednesday night, laughing and high off of the giddiness that comes as a package deal with camp. I was practically glowing alongside this boy, who in short, just got me. After our usual quick banter, he stopped me midsentence and said, "Skylar, I just want you to know that you're my best friend."

There was something about that simple moment that surpassed every Valentine, every meaningless crush, and every romantic movie I'd ever seen. That moment was better than fiction or anything I could've conjured from a daydream. I was absolutely hooked, and I remember looking at the stars above me and feeling dizzy.

In my experience and the experiences of the people I interviewed, it's the seemingly simple things that strike us and take our breath away.

I wish all of the love and peace and joy to everyone reading this, and promise that you will have these moments. Whether you're fifteen on the bleachers of a soccer game or forty five in a grocery store, these moments don't spare the human race. There's someone for everyone.

PART TWO COMING SOON.

XOXOXOXOXO, Skylar